can’t focus.

I don’t know know why, but I feel like I can’t focus at the moment. Maybe it’s because I’m coming off of an intense 4-day shoot. Maybe it has to do with other personal factors. Maybe it’s because I’m graduating college in less than a month. I have no clue. I should be doing my homework that I procrastinated on due to this production, but maybe I just need to chill out for a second a write about it.

I couldn’t be any more thankful for this opportunity I’ve been given this weekend to be a part of this production. Not only did I learn a lot, I also got to work with the people I started this journey with. I’m sad that my time here is almost coming to an end, but I’ll never forget the memories made with these people.

On the other hand, it was a little heartbreaking working with him…my friend I mean. It’s so sad to see two people who were once so close become so distant. It was hard being with him on set because I felt like he didn’t respect me at all…to the point, where I tried to keep myself occupied with other people and not speak to him. But I mean, that’s how life is sometimes and you just have to go with it. I only have a month left until I never have to see him again.

But I’m not going to focus on that. I’m really excited (and nervous) about graduating. I can’t believe it’s less than a month away. Time flies so I have to enjoy it while I can…because after that, everything is going to change.

– beautifuldarkmystery

they say enjoy college while it lasts.

And it’s true…I can’t believe that in just five weeks, my years as an undergrad will be over. These last four years went by so quickly. I hate to sound cliche, but it feels like it was only yesterday that I was entering college as a freshman, scared of the unknown, worrying about having to start all over again…new place, new people, new school. While it did get off to a rough start, I eventually found my way and made some of the most amazing friendships, ones that I hope last for a very long time.

Now, as a senior…those feelings are coming back to me as I prepare to embark on the next part of my journey…I will be taking a year off from school before going back to get my Masters. Yes, it scares me…it’ll be the first year I won’t be in school and on top of that, I have to try and look for work. To add to that I’m moving away, which means starting over…again.

But what I’ve come to learn over these last couple of years is that there’s no point in worrying over things I cannot control. The future is scary yes, but I have to have faith in myself that I will land on my feet…I’ve already started building a great network here, with people who would be more than happy to give recommendations for me. Sometimes life is about going beyond your comfort zone…otherwise you’ll never know what else is out there. That above anything else has been a challenge for me, but I’m hoping with a little more practice, I’ll be well on my way. But I need to keep pushing myself in order for that to happen.

For now, I’m going to enjoy the time I have left here…spent with friends, making short films, and gaining as much knowledge and experience as I can. I regret waiting until my last two years to get involved in the department, but better late than never, right? As I’ve said, I’ve met so many incredible people and have had the privilege of learning from some of the most passionate professors. I truly consider myself to be blessed.

– abeautifuldarkmystery