How do I get excited about the future again? Sometimes, I still feel like I took the easy way out in school…just to get by. It’s not even a field I’m interested in anymore. It is now August and I’m continuing to lose hope. I want to just give up completely. But that’s not an option.
As much as I wish I could get those two years back and do something useful with them, I cannot. I never thought I’d wind up here. I always thought I’d be successful…at least by now. But I’m a detriment to my own self. It’s true when they say you are your own worst enemy.
I’m sorry if it seems like I’ve been complaining a lot lately. That’s not my intention. But I need somewhere to let out what I’m feeling…what I’m thinking. These posts have become a stream of consciousness. And while it does help, it doesn’t solve my problem. Where do I go from here? How do I build my confidence? How do I shake off all these insecurities I have. After all, those are the things that are holding me back. I’m a prisoner of my own mind. And that’s a dangerous place to be.
I don’t want to continue burdening my family. I don’t want to continue being a disappointment. I don’t want to keep feeling like a failure. So what do I do?