with him, things always end before they even begin.

Yup, so it’s going to take me a while to get used to this…not talking to him every night, trying to see him in a different light. This sucks, I should’ve known this was coming. It was only a matter of time. It also sucks that this is how I have to spend my last year of college. For me, the best way I can get over this is if I don’t see or speak to him (unless I have to). We didn’t talk all weekend, then Sunday night we did and we sort of cleared the air. I’m still hurt and disappointed, but it is what it is and I’m actually glad that this happened now instead of later. I just hate that I’ve been lead on this whole time. He keeps making excuses for himself, saying he did’t want to lose me and didn’t want to ruin the friendship, etc. I’m done. Two times is enough. I hate that I’m so stubborn sometimes.

– beautifuldarkmystery

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strike two, how many more will it take.

Well apparently he feels indifferent. I don’t understand how he can show ALL the signs he’s interested, yet he says he’s unsure about his feelings towards me. I’m not sure I’ll ever understand how his thought process works. This is the second time he’s broken my heart, I think that’s more than enough. I need to learn my lesson now.

The sucky part is that he’s unaffected by this, while I cried my eyes out a couple nights ago. At least I’ve had the weekend to process it and prepare myself for when I have to see him at school, because it’s going to be different now. Why do I keep allowing him to keep doing this to me? I deserve better and I don’t know why I continue to settle for less…

– beautifuldarkmystery