the beginning of the end.

So today was my first day of my last semester…and quite uneventful if I do say so myself. Both of my classes went okay. It was the first day though, so we didn’t really do much. I’m looking forward to my classes next week, except for…I have two classes with HIM this semester. Yup. Ugh. Hopefully I can just get through them. I just hope this girl isn’t in one of those classes or it will be super awkward for me. Oh, speaking of awkward…one of my roommate’s friends was almost in one of my classes…close call…we all didn’t end on the best terms so I was hoping she forgot what I looked like or whatever.

Anyway, I’m really looking forward to this semester. I hope it’s a good one. I hope I continue to meet new people and network and all that fun stuff. Hopefully the homework load isn’t too bad…sounds’t like it’s mostly going to be projects, which I don’t mind. I can’t believe it…it really hasn’t settled in. This is the beginning of the end.

– CU

school starts tomorrow.

Is it weird that I’m excited? Give it a few days…then I’ll be saying something different. Haha. This break went by so quickly. I’ve been so busy that I’ve barely had time for myself…a possible indicator of what my future will look like? Yikes. The work is far from over. I have my second shoot this weekend, which I am kind of excited about. It’ll be interesting to see the different dynamics from set to set. I’m glad I’m getting in a lot more experience compared to a couple of years ago, or even last year in general.

I am looking forward to my schedule though. I feel like this will be an even greater opportunity to gain even more experience and that makes me happy. I’m going to be one busy bee this semester, but it’ll all pay off in the end…hopefully.

– beautifuldarkmystery

 

just a mild crush.

There’s been this guy lately…that I sort of, kind of like. We have a lot of mutual friends, but we’ve only spoken to each other a couple of times. Let’s call him Lewis. We had a class last semester and one of our mutual friends, Juan, was in that class as well. Juan had made it very clear to me that he developed a crush and liked me. I’d like to know what he thinks of me, but as always, I’m too chicken to find out.

Once Juan told me this, I began to pay attention to Lewis more. I noticed he would often look at me, a couple of times we made eye contact. It was all innocent stuff. We went the rest of the semester not really speaking. We just went to class and he hung out with his friends in that class and I hung out with mine. Just recently, we were both helping out on the same production, and I hadn’t seen him all break long. Anyways, again, we made eye contact, and later I passed him and we had a brief dialogue exchange.

I don’t know if we’ll have any classes this semester but I’m kind of hoping that we do. I know all of this seems pretty trivial and not that big of a deal, but I live for the small stuff like this, even if it’s not what I think it is. Aside from that, I’ve heard he doesn’t drink and is straight-edge like me, which is I guess part of the reason why I like him…not that I have a problem with people who drink, but I don’t think I’d ever be able to date someone who does drugs. Just saying. Oh, and we’re both graduating this semester…sighhhhh.

– beautifuldarkmystery

a new year, a new beginning.

I know that’s what everyone says, but I feel like this is true. I’m about to go into my last semester as a undergrad…after graduation, I’m moving to a different city…I don’t know what I’ll be doing by this time next year. It’s exciting yet scary at the same time. I’ve never been open to change, but I’m finding that as I get older, I’m becoming more open-minded. If you would have asked me if I wanted to live away from home four years ago, I would have said no. I always saw myself living near my parents and never really going that far away from home. But now I’m at that point, where I’m ready for a little independence. I want to prove to myself that I can do it. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s time for that next step.

I also feel like this move will also help me get over him. I mean, for the most part, we barely talk anymore, which is how it should be. The other night we were texting each other but it was so painfully awkward and dead so I ended the conversation. We never used to be like this, and it’s sad that this is how things are now, but that’s life…and you have to learn how to move on.

I’ve been keeping myself busy with production work so I haven’t really had the time for a social life, but honestly, I’m not looking for anything right now. I think I’m over these guys over here. They’re either bold and completely unafraid to make a move and come on strong…or they’re quiet and I have to play the guessing game. I feel like most of the guys that have liked me are the latter. I know because I talk to mutual friends, but shhhh you didn’t hear it from me.

I’m ready for this semester. I’m sad it’s going to be my last one, but I’m going to make it the best one. I can’t believe how quickly time has gone by. It feels like it was just yesterday I was starting my freshman year, but let’s not relive that again. I’ve grown so much as a person since then…and I’ve met wonderful people in my department. I think that’s what I’ll miss the most. I’ve never been surrounded by such passionate students and teachers. I can’t explain it, but it’s infectious. I’ve learned so much from them. I don’t want this to end.

But it’s time to move on…to bigger and better things. I’ll miss everyone I’ve crossed paths with here, but now comes the big test. How many of those people will I stay connected to?

-beautifuldarkmystery