just a mild crush.

There’s been this guy lately…that I sort of, kind of like. We have a lot of mutual friends, but we’ve only spoken to each other a couple of times. Let’s call him Lewis. We had a class last semester and one of our mutual friends, Juan, was in that class as well. Juan had made it very clear to me that he developed a crush and liked me. I’d like to know what he thinks of me, but as always, I’m too chicken to find out.

Once Juan told me this, I began to pay attention to Lewis more. I noticed he would often look at me, a couple of times we made eye contact. It was all innocent stuff. We went the rest of the semester not really speaking. We just went to class and he hung out with his friends in that class and I hung out with mine. Just recently, we were both helping out on the same production, and I hadn’t seen him all break long. Anyways, again, we made eye contact, and later I passed him and we had a brief dialogue exchange.

I don’t know if we’ll have any classes this semester but I’m kind of hoping that we do. I know all of this seems pretty trivial and not that big of a deal, but I live for the small stuff like this, even if it’s not what I think it is. Aside from that, I’ve heard he doesn’t drink and is straight-edge like me, which is I guess part of the reason why I like him…not that I have a problem with people who drink, but I don’t think I’d ever be able to date someone who does drugs. Just saying. Oh, and we’re both graduating this semester…sighhhhh.

– beautifuldarkmystery


So tomorrow we’re shooting our short movie. Yeah, I am so nervous, but so excited. I hope this isn’t too awkward…I’m afraid that because we like each other and we know we like each other, awkwardness is going to be pretty much inevitable. Oh well, I still get to spend time with him, so I’m not complaining.

For those of you who didn’t read my other post, our short film is basically about this girl who’s rushing to her car and on her way, she drops her keys. A guy sees them and follows the girl to the garage (in a non creepy way of course) and when they meet, it’s “love at first sight.” ❤ He’s playing the male lead and I’m playing the female lead. The thing is…I never volunteered. They all volunteered me and then he volunteered himself. Coincidence? I don’t think so…


text messages & sweet gestures.

So we’ve been texting a lot the last couple of days…like more than we usually do. Sometimes it’s flirty (it’s way easier for both of us to flirt through text than in person). On Sunday night I stayed up until 1AM (so I guess Monday too technically) texting him…I had to wake up at 5. So yeah, that goes to show you’d rather lose sleep than not talk to the person you like.

While we were talking Sunday night, he asked me if I wanted to read one of his comic books. Because this is a huge part of his life, I wanted to see what this was all about. Apparently it meant a lot more to him than I realized. On Monday during our class together, he let me borrow one of his favorites and I read it during my break in the library. Later that night when we were texting, he told me that he was reading the same book and the fact that I had read the same thing earlier made him really happy. I thought that was really sweet because I didn’t know how much it was going to mean to him.

Today I only had one class and went to my “office assistant / TA” position after that. To my surprise, when I left her office to go do something, I saw him standing there in the hallway. I walked up to him and gave him a huge hug and he hugged me back tighter. I asked him what he was doing here and he said he stopped by to see me. I thought it was really sweet.

After I got home, I got a text from him asking if I was still on campus, but I told him I left. He asked me because he wanted to say bye to me in person. He had a class while I was working but I ran into him a couple of times. Man, he sure is saying and doing all the right things.

We’re like so close, but yet so far away I feel. We could be in a relationship if someone makes the first move, but I don’t want to rush things if it’s not meant to happen. And like I said, I don’t have any expectations for Valentine’s Day but the fact that we’ve been talking and texting each other more than usual this week, it only makes things a little harder. He sure is making this more difficult for me.


great night.

It started when my parents and I went out to each dinner. It was for my mom’s belated birthday celebration since we didn’t get the chance to go out on her real birthday. I recognized one of the waitresses because we went to high school together. But she was one of those people that I never really talked to or hung out with. I think we had a couple of classes, but I didn’t think she knew who I was. She wasn’t our waitress, but she did walk by our table and asked us if we needed anything and then she looks at me and says my name. I was completely surprised because I thought this was going to be awkward moments where she didn’t know who I was but weird because I knew who she was. Anyways, we talked for like a minute or so and then she had to help out the other tables. She was a lot friendlier than I remember her, but that’s a good thing. It’s good to see she’s doing well and maybe I’ll see her around.

When I got home, I went on the computer and started watching old videos. All of a sudden my phone buzzed and it was a text message from “Tom.” Tom’s my crush for those of you who don’t know. He basically said he was thinking about me and we started talking for a bit. Then he had to leave because he had plans. Now I’m sitting here trying to stay awake so that we can talk when he’s done, but I don’t even know when that will be. Plus I have orientation tomorrow morning for a volunteer position.

It was great though, for the first time…I began to open up to him and he made me feel better. Still wish we would have been in person when we talked about this because I would have wanted to see his reaction. I mean it’s one thing to type up a response and send it, but it’s another to actually BE THERE in the moment and emotionally connect with each other. I hope we can hang out one of these days…and I mean outside of school, just the two of us. I just want to see what would happen.


skinny love.

Okay, so I’ve seen this term everywhere. I was scrolling through my dashboard on Tumblr and saw a picture with “skinny love
on it. So finally, I decided to do a Google search for a definition. According to Urban Dictionary, skinny love is when two people love each other but are too shy to admit it but they still show it. I still can’t get over when he said it the other day, “You know I love you.”  Yeah, I know it was in a friendly way and we were joking around, but I loved hearing that.

Anyways, I couldn’t help but relate this to my situation because I feel that this is where I’m headed with this guy, which I don’t really mind. I’d rather hear him say it once (even if it takes a long time) and mean it than to hear it from him a hundred times that it almost loses its meaning. We’re both shy people when it comes to relationships. Neither of us wants to be the first to say something or make a move. Yeah, that’ll complicate things for us, but I’m willing to stick with him and see where things go. Maybe I’ll work up the courage to put myself out there more. Who knows?

I know that the quickest way to disappointment is to allow your happiness to depend on another person, but I can’t help it. He makes me happy. The more I’m around him, the more comfortable I feel being myself…like I don’t have to hide anything and I would hope he feels the same way. Man, I care about this guy A LOT…more than I probably think. I’ve just never met someone I’ve connected with so easily and so fast. It’s like we’re so similar in a lot of ways that it’s almost creepy…and somehow our paths ended up crossing, we met, and became friends. It’s been a while since I’ve had someone in my life I could be myself around. I tend to be more of an introverted person, but he’s slowly breaking down my walls. In fact, we’re slowly approaching that place where I feel I can begin to share more personal stories…you know, more deeper-level surface stuff instead of just talking about friends and school…things you don’t tell acquaintances.

This guy…you all are going to get sick of hearing me talk about him, so I apologize in advance. But to tell you the truth, he’s the first guy I’ve been able to like since my last relationship. It’s probably not that big of a deal to anyone, but to me it kind of is. I’ll try not to talk about it as much, but if something does happen, it’s guaranteed there will be a post about it.


under his spell.

Today is Wednesday, which means I had my class with him. We’re going to work on a group project together which is great, because I’m looking forward to spending more time with him. As soon as I left class and got to the library to begin my 3-hour break, he texted me and asked if I was free because he got out of class early. I don’t know if I’m overanalyzing this, but I’m pretty sure that means I was the first person he thought about because obviously he wanted to see me. When I asked him why his class got out so early, he said it was because they were supposed to be working on a group project. So he left and came to see me. I don’t think that’s a very good thing, but these are definitely actions and he’s showing me that he likes me…which is good!

So he hung out with me for a little bit today, which made me really happy. Now I can’t even concentrate on any of my homework because all I’m thinking about is him. Boys…why do they do this to us. The conversation we had wasn’t awkward like it has been, which is good. We’re becoming more comfortable around each other. He came up from behind me and gave me a hug, which made me smile. We joked around, he made fun of me as usual. At one point he hugged me and said, “You know I love you.” I know this wasn’t meant in a romantic sense, but I don’t know…to hear the words come out of his mouth made me feel special. I’ve never heard those words from a guy’s mouth, let alone have it be directed at me…even if in a friendly way. To be honest, I don’t know that I love him in a romantic way yet. It’s hard to tell. I feel like the word is used so loosely so I want to be careful. I’ve heard that you KNOW when you’re in love. I guess because I’ve never experienced it before, I’m not sure what it will feel like or how I will know. It’s a little far-fetched at the moment, but just maybe he’ll be that person I say “I love you” to. But if so, that’ll be a while from now.

He sat really close to me, so I tried to sit closer to him. It wasn’t awkward at all. I think we just need to let things happen naturally. As stupid and obvious as it seems. We were the most comfortable we’ve been around each other and we didn’t say anything about relationships or dating. This will be an interesting journey, but I’m along for the ride.

I don’t know. I feel like I’m beginning to open up to him. Eventually I want to be able to share parts of my life with him. And of course, I want to know about him. I want him to be able to share things with me as well. I really like him. I really do. I hate feeling this way in a sense because it’s like I’m under this spell. I try not to allow people to have control over me, but he’s one of those people. I’m starting to fall…


Have you ever been in love? If so, what was it like?

10 signs someone is interested in you.

Found these on Tumblr…I would say that most of these apply to my current situation. What about you?

1. They stand closer to you or they keep a smaller distance when they’re around you. It shows that they are comfortable with you and want to get physically intimate.

2. They are more likely to face you when talking to you as opposed to standing sideways or away from you. However, if they are shy, then maybe this point won’t apply so much. Instead, they will periodically take glimpses at you when you’re not looking.

3. They’d try to get your attention for trivial things such as calling you about what homework they have or when the homework is due.

4. They smile more frequently because of you. Even if they don’t show it while around you because they don’t want you to find out they like you, they will smile when they think of you.

5. Their behavior can be passive aggressive. They may appear to show interest in you one day and not the other. Sometimes, this leaves you wondering if you pissed them off without realizing. When someone likes you, little things you do can hurt them, because they have taken a bigger notice to you.

6. They prioritize their activities with you. They may cancel plans just so they can meet up with you or assist you with something.

7. Their friends know about you. They have probably at some point confess to at least one friend their feelings about you.

8. They want to find out more about you to see if you’re single or available or/and if you’re compatible.

9. They will care about you if you are upset and they will often try to do something for you. Remember, people may not always tell you how they feel, but they will always show you. You just have to pay attention.

10. Last but not least, the most obvious sign is that they will feel upset or hurt if they learn that you don’t like them or when they get rejected by you.

The more of these signs someone shows towards you, the higher the chance they are interested in you. However, 1 or 2 of these signs alone may mean nothing at all. Furthermore, each person is different and this may not apply to all types of personalities, but this does relate to most. You can add more tell-tale signs below

via Psychology Quotes.