is it just me.

Or do you guys find it annoying when people “brush off” your interests like it’s nothing…I mean, I’m not saying they have to LIKE what you do, but I mean, a little conversation about it wouldn’t hurt. Once again, this shows me just how different “Tom” and I are. He asked me what I was doing and I told him that I was watching old marching band competitions (yeah, I was the band nerd in high school) and all he said was that’s cool. Then I asked him what he was doing and he said he was looking at highlights from Comic-con. So I started asking questions…if there was anything good, how long it lasts, where is it held…even though I have NO idea about any of those things. And yeah, I told him he lost me for a second when he dropped his “nerd vernacular” on me. But still, he seemed to get a lot more excited once we started talking about something he’s interested in. Go figure. That’s how everyone is.

I can’t wait to meet the one person who will actually show an interest in my life. Again, not saying they have to like what I do or even know anything about it, but SHOWING that they want to know more…that would mean a lot to me. Maybe I just have really really really high expectations of certain people and I need to either lower them or “discipline my disappointment.” I don’t know, just a thought.

-beautifuldarkmystery

Advertisements

texting vs. talking.

So I’ve talked a little about this before, but I wanted to make a more detailed post about this because to me, this topic is pretty black and white, but I’m open to all interpretations/opinions.

Communication is obviously important in any relationship, and to me, it’s one of the most important qualities I look for. I’ve said multiple times that I am one of those people who feels more comfortable texting the guy I like as opposed to verbally talking to him. As an introvert, I am often self-conscious about how I come across to people…the spotlight effect is my worst enemy and I am always self-conscious of what I say and how I say it. For me, it’s easier to sit behind a screen, think about what I’m going to say, type it out, and hit send.

Now, I know that for any relationship to be successful there has to be verbal communication…or does there? I’ve previously mentioned the show Catfish on MTV. Couples “fall in love” over the internet…through Facebook messages, AIM threads, or texting. I’ve always wondered how that’s possible, but in some cases, this has proven to be effective.

However, for me personally, I don’t like having the deep and personal conversations through text. I’d rather be there with him so that I can feel that emotional connection. I am a very emotional person as you’ve seen or will soon know. When someone shares something personal with me, I want to hear their voice, I want to see their facial expressions, I want to see their body language. I want to be in the moment.

I’ve made it very clear to my friend that I’m not going to tell my stories via text. When I’m ready to share something really personal, I want him to physically be there. This is not only so I can emotionally connect with him or vice versa. Verbal communication is something I truly want to work on and become better at. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being able to communicate better through text or writing, or any other medium. But verbal communication is a must-have skill. It’s almost like you’ve got to be able to do both.

One of my friends made a short film on this concept. It’s basically about this guy and girl who are sitting across from each other, but they’re texting. Things begin to change when the guy tells her that he wants to be with her, and I mean really be with her…not through cyberspace. Towards the end of it, we see that they both have these machines connected to their backs, symbolizing that this generation is so infatuated with technology that we forget how to socialize in a sense. Once the guy and girl “disconnect” from their machines, they’re brought back into life and are no longer robots. It was really good and inspiring and definitely relevant.

My friend has expressed to me that he feels more comfortable talking through text than in person, especially when it’s about more personal. I think he’s kind of like me in that sense because he’s told me that all he wants to do is impress me and he doesn’t want to mess it up and all these other reasons. I thought that was cute, but I told him that he doesn’t need to worry about any of that. I am just as awkward as he is so there’s nothing to worry about. But I’m not going to force him to do something he’s not comfortable with. If he feels like texting me is his strongest way of communicating right now, I have to let it be. Hopefully one day, he’ll feel comfortable enough to not hide behind that screen.

-beautifuldarkmystery

Do you prefer texting or talking? Is one better than the other? Why or why not?

text messages & sweet gestures.

So we’ve been texting a lot the last couple of days…like more than we usually do. Sometimes it’s flirty (it’s way easier for both of us to flirt through text than in person). On Sunday night I stayed up until 1AM (so I guess Monday too technically) texting him…I had to wake up at 5. So yeah, that goes to show you’d rather lose sleep than not talk to the person you like.

While we were talking Sunday night, he asked me if I wanted to read one of his comic books. Because this is a huge part of his life, I wanted to see what this was all about. Apparently it meant a lot more to him than I realized. On Monday during our class together, he let me borrow one of his favorites and I read it during my break in the library. Later that night when we were texting, he told me that he was reading the same book and the fact that I had read the same thing earlier made him really happy. I thought that was really sweet because I didn’t know how much it was going to mean to him.

Today I only had one class and went to my “office assistant / TA” position after that. To my surprise, when I left her office to go do something, I saw him standing there in the hallway. I walked up to him and gave him a huge hug and he hugged me back tighter. I asked him what he was doing here and he said he stopped by to see me. I thought it was really sweet.

After I got home, I got a text from him asking if I was still on campus, but I told him I left. He asked me because he wanted to say bye to me in person. He had a class while I was working but I ran into him a couple of times. Man, he sure is saying and doing all the right things.

We’re like so close, but yet so far away I feel. We could be in a relationship if someone makes the first move, but I don’t want to rush things if it’s not meant to happen. And like I said, I don’t have any expectations for Valentine’s Day but the fact that we’ve been talking and texting each other more than usual this week, it only makes things a little harder. He sure is making this more difficult for me.

-beautifuldarkmystery