maybe my expectations are too high.

Okay, I’m supposed to be writing an essay that’s due tomorrow, but I need somewhere to vent, so here it goes.

I am so tired of putting myself out there only to get rejected. I know I’ve said that I’m going to start pulling back, but I mean it this time. I am done with this. I think I can safely say I would be settling for less than I deserve if he and I went out. It sucks because I like him so much, but with everything that’s been going on between us lately (or lack of)…I don’t know that anything could develop. I think we’re better off as just friends.

All I want is to find a nice boy who will treat me well and show me that he cares about me. Is it really that much to ask? I don’t think I’m a high maintenance person, but it sure would be nice to feel like I’m cared about every once in a while. I guess the thing that frustrates me the most is that what he says and what he does are completely different.

And I know what most of you are going to say…just talk to him about it. Honestly, right now, I just want to brush it under the rug and not make a huge deal about it. For all I know, I could be overreacting to this whole situation. I just can’t help but feel a little hurt because I’ve done so much for him, and he can’t seem to return the deed.

I think the best thing for me to do right now is to pull away a little bit. I’m not saying I’m going to completely ignore him and make a big deal about this, but I need to lay off a little. If he really cares, he’ll step up. It’ll be hard, but I have to do this.

And I thought things would be easier being single…psh.

-beautifuldarkmystery

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