rejection.

Last month, I interviewed with a company I really wanted to work for. At the time, she said there may be a position opening up in July. When July came around, I sent her a quick followup e-mail just to check in and see if it ever opened up, but I never heard from her.

I decided to try and reach out to her one last time so I sent another e-mail and she quickly responded and told me that there weren’t any positions open at the moment but that they would keep me in mind for the future.

This sucks. It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted something this badly and to be “let down” in the end hurts. But I won’t let it get me down. I firmly believe that things do happen for a reason. Oddly enough, earlier today, I was on a video conference with a good friend of mine. He just started a production company and wants me to help him. I always say when one door closes, another one opens….right? This could potentially lead to something, and if not, at the very least give me experience.

No one likes rejection and some people like myself even fear it. But it’s a part of life and unfortunately, there will be many more times I will be told “no” before I’m told “yes”. The most important thing to do is not allow myself to feel defeated by every “no”. I’d like to think there’s a plan for me and I’ll end up where I’m supposed to be, but figuring that out is the frustrating part. I don’t even know where to look and every job application I’ve sent I haven’t heard back from. As hopeless as the situation seems, I know that the only way I’ll be unsuccessful is if I stop trying.

One day, I want to be able to look back at these struggles and frustrations and say that it was all worth it. All the stress and anxiety….all of it. I’ve set a goal for myself to have a full time job by October. I’m beginning to think that aiming for this company was a bit ambitious, but I wouldn’t have known if I didn’t try, so that’s what I’m trying to focus on. It’s not about how many times you fall, it’s about how many times you get back up.

beautifuldarkmystery

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maybe my expectations are too high.

Okay, I’m supposed to be writing an essay that’s due tomorrow, but I need somewhere to vent, so here it goes.

I am so tired of putting myself out there only to get rejected. I know I’ve said that I’m going to start pulling back, but I mean it this time. I am done with this. I think I can safely say I would be settling for less than I deserve if he and I went out. It sucks because I like him so much, but with everything that’s been going on between us lately (or lack of)…I don’t know that anything could develop. I think we’re better off as just friends.

All I want is to find a nice boy who will treat me well and show me that he cares about me. Is it really that much to ask? I don’t think I’m a high maintenance person, but it sure would be nice to feel like I’m cared about every once in a while. I guess the thing that frustrates me the most is that what he says and what he does are completely different.

And I know what most of you are going to say…just talk to him about it. Honestly, right now, I just want to brush it under the rug and not make a huge deal about it. For all I know, I could be overreacting to this whole situation. I just can’t help but feel a little hurt because I’ve done so much for him, and he can’t seem to return the deed.

I think the best thing for me to do right now is to pull away a little bit. I’m not saying I’m going to completely ignore him and make a big deal about this, but I need to lay off a little. If he really cares, he’ll step up. It’ll be hard, but I have to do this.

And I thought things would be easier being single…psh.

-beautifuldarkmystery

10 signs someone is interested in you.

Found these on Tumblr…I would say that most of these apply to my current situation. What about you?

1. They stand closer to you or they keep a smaller distance when they’re around you. It shows that they are comfortable with you and want to get physically intimate.

2. They are more likely to face you when talking to you as opposed to standing sideways or away from you. However, if they are shy, then maybe this point won’t apply so much. Instead, they will periodically take glimpses at you when you’re not looking.

3. They’d try to get your attention for trivial things such as calling you about what homework they have or when the homework is due.

4. They smile more frequently because of you. Even if they don’t show it while around you because they don’t want you to find out they like you, they will smile when they think of you.

5. Their behavior can be passive aggressive. They may appear to show interest in you one day and not the other. Sometimes, this leaves you wondering if you pissed them off without realizing. When someone likes you, little things you do can hurt them, because they have taken a bigger notice to you.

6. They prioritize their activities with you. They may cancel plans just so they can meet up with you or assist you with something.

7. Their friends know about you. They have probably at some point confess to at least one friend their feelings about you.

8. They want to find out more about you to see if you’re single or available or/and if you’re compatible.

9. They will care about you if you are upset and they will often try to do something for you. Remember, people may not always tell you how they feel, but they will always show you. You just have to pay attention.

10. Last but not least, the most obvious sign is that they will feel upset or hurt if they learn that you don’t like them or when they get rejected by you.

The more of these signs someone shows towards you, the higher the chance they are interested in you. However, 1 or 2 of these signs alone may mean nothing at all. Furthermore, each person is different and this may not apply to all types of personalities, but this does relate to most. You can add more tell-tale signs below

via Psychology Quotes.