a test of true love.

So he and I had a pretty good talk last night and I’m glad we did, because it somewhat puts my mind at ease a little bit. Basically, I was hit with a very strong feeling yesterday, and I mentioned this in my previous post…that I feel as though this is not over yet. Somehow, someway, we will find our way back to each other. I gained more confidence as we were talking about how we’d both be a tad jealous if we ended up dating other people in the meantime. There’s a quote that I read a while back that always stuck with me, before I even knew what love was. It was a quote by Johnny Depp that says, “If you love two people at the same time, choose the second, because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.” It’s so true. So I’m going to look at this as a test of our love for each other. If he loves me like he says he does, he will come back. I can only speak for myself and know that I love him more than anything. Could I date other people? Absolutely, but that doesn’t mean that I’ll necessarily fall in love with them.

Yes, I’ll still be jealous if he finds someone else but this feeling I got last night…it was enough to give me the confidence I need in knowing that there’s a place in the future for us. Could I be wrong? Of course. For all I know, I am completely out of my mind. But his dad said we don’t know what could happen, my mom believes we’re going to end up together again, and even some of our friends have pointed it out. I think part of this feeling comes from knowing our past and knowing what we’ve been through together. Yes, there were times he was interested in other girls, but who did he go back to at the end of it? Me. And all of those previous events we went through together of falling apart and coming back together have made us stronger today. I can only hope for the best, but expect the worst.

He claims he doesn’t want it to happen, that he doesn’t want to find someone new, but it’s always going to be in the back of my mind. I need to prepare myself for it too. There could also be a possibility I could meet someone. But I know that things happen for a reason (I’m starting to sound like a broken record now). But I know this is not the end yet. We’re not through, our love story is just beginning. But this…this is going to be the true test of our love for each other, right here, right now.

-beautifuldarkmystery

Was there ever a time you tested your love with someone? How did it work out?

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“somewhere, someone is looking for exactly what you have to offer.”

It’s a simple quote, yet had a profound effect on me. Yes, it’s crazy to think about, but I wonder if this is true. Too often we find ourselves trying to fit into a certain mold because it’s what that person likes. I know you’re supposed to be yourself, but sometimes we can’t help it. We want to impress this guy or girl so much that we just get caught up in trying to make an impression.

I think it would be amazing to find someone who accepts me for who I am…my past, my flaws, my insecurities. Someone who genuinely wants to be there for me and show that he cares. Someone who will pick up the phone at 2AM and talk to me when I can’t sleep. Someone who will just listen and hold me when I’m having a bad day. I’m not saying he has to drop everything just to be there for me, but yeah, every once in a while, it would be nice. A simple reminder that he cares.

It’s crazy to think that there’s possibly a guy out there who wants everything I have to offer. Maybe I haven’t met him yet, maybe I have. Who knows? The future is a crazy thing to think about because of its uncertainty. But it’s because of the uncertainty that makes it sort of thrilling, don’t you think? For someone who is such a planner and likes to think ahead, the future is my worst enemy haha. But it’s just a thought I wanted to share. I’ve seen that quote a couple of times before, but it wasn’t until I read it this time that I actually thought about it.

-beautifuldarkmystery