do it for you and not anyone else.

The older I get, the more I’m learning about myself. But that’s how it’s supposed to go, right? Well, right now I’m in a situation where I don’t really know what I want to do with my life or what direction I want to go. I thought I did, but I’m lacking that fire, the passion that everyone around me has.

I recently applied for a job that I really want. I have not heard back from them yet, but if I do hear from them, it should be some time soon. The weird thing is that I haven’t wanted something so badly in such a long time. I kind of put all my eggs in one basket with this because I have not been looking at other jobs, I haven’t applied anywhere else. I know it’s crazy, but I want to hear from them first.

One of the main reasons why I want this job is because I want to push myself. I’ve always been a quiet and passive person, and I’ve heard that those qualities are ones you’re born with and can’t change, but I believe I can. By no means is it going to be easy…because what may come easily to others does not come as easily to me…but I know that if I really push myself outside my comfort zone, I can achieve what I consider impossible.

It’s one thing I’ve learned from past internships. I’ve surprised myself and done things I never thought I could do. It’s all about how much you want it and how far you’re willing to push yourself. It was very uncomfortable for me…something as easy as talking over a walkie to yelling and being loud (something I’m definitely not used to), but I did it enough times and it became comfortable. With practice, I felt more and more confident.

I’ve always been the type of person to believe when someone tells me I can’t do something. It’s a terrible mindset to have and I know I’ll never achieve anything with that kind of attitude. But as I’m growing older, I’m learning that, it’s more important to do it for yourself and not anyone else. I don’t owe anyone anything. If I want to push myself and I want to reach a certain goal, I have to do it because I WANT it.

I know it seems like common sense, but this is yet another one of those lessons that’s taking time and I’m going through it right now. I don’t think I’ll end up where I currently am. I don’t think this is my calling or what I’m meant to do. People may ask me, “Well, then what would you want to do?” I don’t know the answer. As frustrating as it is, I have to remind myself that it’s okay that I don’t have all of the answers. Things will happen for me when they are supposed to happen and if this job opportunity works out, then great. If not, then it’s not meant to be.

All I know is that I haven’t felt this passionate about something in a long time. I haven’t wanted something so badly in a long time. I don’t want to get my hopes up, but I don’t want to lose hope either. Until then, I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

-beautifuldarkmystery

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10 signs someone is interested in you.

Found these on Tumblr…I would say that most of these apply to my current situation. What about you?

1. They stand closer to you or they keep a smaller distance when they’re around you. It shows that they are comfortable with you and want to get physically intimate.

2. They are more likely to face you when talking to you as opposed to standing sideways or away from you. However, if they are shy, then maybe this point won’t apply so much. Instead, they will periodically take glimpses at you when you’re not looking.

3. They’d try to get your attention for trivial things such as calling you about what homework they have or when the homework is due.

4. They smile more frequently because of you. Even if they don’t show it while around you because they don’t want you to find out they like you, they will smile when they think of you.

5. Their behavior can be passive aggressive. They may appear to show interest in you one day and not the other. Sometimes, this leaves you wondering if you pissed them off without realizing. When someone likes you, little things you do can hurt them, because they have taken a bigger notice to you.

6. They prioritize their activities with you. They may cancel plans just so they can meet up with you or assist you with something.

7. Their friends know about you. They have probably at some point confess to at least one friend their feelings about you.

8. They want to find out more about you to see if you’re single or available or/and if you’re compatible.

9. They will care about you if you are upset and they will often try to do something for you. Remember, people may not always tell you how they feel, but they will always show you. You just have to pay attention.

10. Last but not least, the most obvious sign is that they will feel upset or hurt if they learn that you don’t like them or when they get rejected by you.

The more of these signs someone shows towards you, the higher the chance they are interested in you. However, 1 or 2 of these signs alone may mean nothing at all. Furthermore, each person is different and this may not apply to all types of personalities, but this does relate to most. You can add more tell-tale signs below

via Psychology Quotes.