tattoos and piercings.

Okay, so I decided to switch things up a little bit. I’m sure you guys are tired of me talking about my non-existent love life. I decided to talk about something that’s discussion worthy…tattoos and piercings. I have neither, and it’s not because I don’t have anything against them, we just all have our personal preferences.

Let’s talk about piercings first. I don’t have my ears pierced. I don’t plan on getting them pierced because I just don’t feel it’s necessary. Plus, I hate needles and the thought of someone putting a gun to my ears makes me cringe. Plus, I wear my hair down most of the time, so to me, it’s just not necessary. Now, there are some who choose to get other parts of their body pierced and that’s okay, it’s your body and you can do whatever you want with it. But let me just tell you, if I came home with my nose, tounge, lip, and eyebrows pierced, my mom would kick me out of the house. Yeah, that’s how strongly she feels against it. I don’t think I could ever date a guy with a lot of piercings. To me, it’s just not very attractive. I’m not trying to offend anyone who has piercings. Again, this is just my own personal opinion.  I mean, some people actually look good with a lot of piercings, but for me, not so much. I would never get my belly button pierced because I have self-esteem issues and what’s the point in getting that if no one’s going to see it? I’ve never understood dermals, but I guess that’s a whole different story.

Now let’s talk about tattoos. With tattoos, I have a slightly different opinion. I think they’re actually pretty cool, only if they have meaning behind them. Now, I know that generally the reason why people get tattoos is because they want it to represent something or someone. But let’s take One Direction for example (yes, I’m a Directioner). Is it me, or does it seem like they’re getting tattoos just to get them? I mean, one or two is okay, but I mean, look at Louis! He’s my favorite and I don’t like that he’s all inked up now. I feel like they’re doing it just to break this “good boy” image they had when they first appeared on the scene. But it’s not very attractive. With tattoos, I’m not a fan of the whole sleeve thing and covering your whole body with tattoos, but if that’s what floats your boat, then hey, more power to you. I wouldn’t date a guy that had an “excessive” amount of tattoos, because again, I just don’t find it very attractive. If he has one or two, it’s fine. But there’s a line when it comes to me. Again, not trying to discriminate or hate on anyone, it’s just my opinion.

If I wasn’t so afraid of needles yes, I would get some tattoos. I’d get a cross and an infinity symbol. I know, it’s probably cliche and like everyone gets those tattoos, but they are of significance to me in a huge way. I don’t know where I would get them. I think tattoos are pretty cool though. Demi Lovato’s a perfect example. I think it’s awesome that she got the “Stay Strong” tattoos on her wrists because I know the meaning behind them. When you go through something, especially something that’s affected your life to a certain extent,  I think it’s important to have a symbol or reminder for yourself so that you can know how far you’ve come.

-beautifuldarkmystery

What are your thoughts on piercings and tattoos?

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well that was unexpected.

So, it’s been over a month since I talked to him…then out of the blue, after class today, he texted me apologizing. We had a short talk about how we’re both willing to move past everything that happened and try to be friends again. I made it very clear to him though that he has a lot to prove to me if this is going to work and that he HAS TO communicate with me, even if he’s scared of how I might react. It all comes down to this…I don’t like when people are shady. I’d rather have you be upfront with me than try and avoid the issue or brush it under the rug. He agreed. So we’ll see if his actions speak louder than his words. I realize he’s not completely comfortable talking in person about issues so if he prefers text messaging, I’ll have to make a compromise. A friendship works both ways. I truly believe the real ones survive the challenges and come out stronger on the other end. I honestly think he needs me more than I need him, but I’m willing to work with him to try and get back to that place where we used to be. It might take a while and I let him know that my guard is up and just because I’ve forgiven him, but words are not enough. A person can say “I’m sorry” a hundred times and it’ll mean nothing. He really needs to prove to me that our friendship is as important to him as he claims. So I guess we’ll see what happens now. I was definitely NOT expecting that at all, and I let him know that I appreciated the effort he made. I appreciated that he apologized to me again and made that initiative. There are just some people you don’t want to give up and regardless of what happened in the fast, whether we had feelings for each other or not, he was always one of those people and always will be…no matter what anyone tells me.

I’m still not sure how I’ll handle the fact that he likes someone else now, but I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. I haven’t seen him around campus with that girl lately so I haven’t really thought about it. We’ll see…

-beautifuldarkmystery

What does friendship mean to you?

the pressure to be skinny.

I’d be lying to you if I said I’ve never struggled with body image…I think EVERY girl has at least some time in their life. It’s difficult because unfortunately, we live in a society where skinny is considered beautiful. I would consider myself average. I’m not too skinny but I’m not overweight. In fact, according to the BMI, I am exactly where I need to be.

There have been certain things I’ve wanted to change about myself. For the longest time, my legs bothered me. I always wished they were skinnier. Yes, I was one of those girls who wanted the gap between her legs. I was first self-conscious about my legs when I was a freshman in high school. It bothered me that all of my friends had stick-thin legs and I wanted mine to look like that as well. Today, I’ve become more accepting about my legs. I still want them a little skinnier, but I’m not going to extremes to achieve it.

Another thing I’ve hated is my stomach. I’ve always wanted a super flat stomach. To this day, I am still self-conscious about wearing a bathing suit around other people, so I rarely go swimming when I’m invited. It’s gotten pretty bad the older I’ve gotten. When I was younger I didn’t care about any of this stuff. But now, I rarely go in the pool. I tend to wear baggy shirts or loosely-fitted tops to cover my stomach. I can’t wear anything that’s skin tight. It makes me feel uncomfortable.

I’ve never gone to super extremes to try and be skinny. One thing I did do was cut soda completely out of my diet and that actually worked. By not drinking soda, I lost a good 5-7 pounds. Plus it’s just better for your health anyway…soda has so much artificial sugar and the caffeine is bad for you (in large amounts). I haven’t had soda for over two years now.

Once the weather is nice again, I want to start walking/exercising. I usually do this around springtime. I’ll walk around my neighborhood or climb hills to work my leg muscles. I LOVE doing this because I enjoy the time to myself, and I’m getting in a decent workout at the same time.

I think there will always be a part of me that remains self-conscious about my weight. Like I said, I will never go to extremes to get the result I want, but as a girl, it’s hard living in a society where you’re judged by the way you look. I really am working on trying to accept myself for who I am, but I’ve still got a ways to go. But like I said, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found that I HAVE become more accepting of myself and the way I look. But it doesn’t hurt to want to strive to be a little healthier…just as long as it’s safe.

-beautifuldarkmystery

How do you view yourself in terms of body image and how have they changed over the years? Has it gotten better or worse?

holding hands.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve noticed this with pretty much every couple I see around school. The guy and girl will be holding hands, but very often, I see the guy’s hand almost just dangling, while the girl is holding on. Personally, I LOVE it when a guy holds hands back because to me that says, “I am so happy to be with you and I don’t want to let you go.” It’s very rare that I actually see the two people holding hands, but maybe I’m just weird for observing such a thing?

When my ex and I were going out, it took him a while before he was able to hold my hand without being scared and when he did, I was the happiest girl in the world. He wasn’t so hesitant after that time obviously and it was nice. If we were at a movie, he would sometimes massage my fingers as he held my hand. If we were walking or standing, he’d just reach for my hand and never let go.

There’s something about holding hands that just gets me and I don’t know what it is. Not only does it mean that he wants me, but I also feel a sense of security. I also love when it happens out of nowhere. For example, I was walking with my friend (again, we’ll call him Tom…and this is the same Tom from the other posts I mention him in). We were walking next to each other and I freed up the hand that was next to him on purpose because I hoped he would hold my hand. Sure enough, as we were walking, he gently grabs my hand and we look at each other and just smile. I hate to sound all cheesy and stuff but it just felt right…like his hand fit perfectly in mine. I don’t know how else to describe it.

Holding hands is also a sign of status…as we walked hand-in-hand across campus, people would know we were together because we were linked together. I’m usually not all into PDA and stuff like that, but I must admit, it was nice for a change. What was even cuter was about a week later, we were texting and he randomly brought up that night. He said he was just thinking about when he held my hand…how nervous he was before and how happy he was after. I just thought that was the cutest thing ever.

I love when a guy is not afraid to hold a girl’s hand in public. That’s a huge thing for me. If a guy asks me to be his girlfriend, I want him to be proud that I’m that girl…not feel embarrassed. I want him to do it because he wants to and that he’s happy we’re together. I’m not saying it has to be PDA to the max, but it means a lot for girls, especially me. But that’s just my personal opinion.

Even though it’s a pretty simple gesture, it’s still pretty powerful. For me, it will always be one of the little things I love. I think I love it because of its simplicity, but it still has meaning. I can’t wait for my next relationship because I want those butterflies again. Holding hands…a simple, nonverbal way of letting everyone know you two are together.

-beautifuldarkmystery