nerves.

So tomorrow we’re shooting our short movie. Yeah, I am so nervous, but so excited. I hope this isn’t too awkward…I’m afraid that because we like each other and we know we like each other, awkwardness is going to be pretty much inevitable. Oh well, I still get to spend time with him, so I’m not complaining.

For those of you who didn’t read my other post, our short film is basically about this girl who’s rushing to her car and on her way, she drops her keys. A guy sees them and follows the girl to the garage (in a non creepy way of course) and when they meet, it’s “love at first sight.” ❤ He’s playing the male lead and I’m playing the female lead. The thing is…I never volunteered. They all volunteered me and then he volunteered himself. Coincidence? I don’t think so…

-beautifuldarkmystery

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this WOULD happen to me.

So….today’s been an interesting day so far. For one of my film classes, we have to create a one-minute movie using only a smart phone. Our professor wants to see how well we fair with limitations. So the entire movie has to be shot on a smart phone (including audio) and it can’t be any longer than 60 seconds.

I met up with my group this morning for some pre-production work. There are four of us, including me, and we were all in the same TV production class about a year ago so we all know each other pretty well. HE (*cough cough*) is also in that group, which means we’ll be working together.

We had a rough start, trying to come up with ideas and whatnot. We tried clustering ideas and that didn’t really work, and then my friend came up with an idea and we just went with that. Basically it’s going to kind of be a love story. All three of them volunteered me to be the talent and I basically had no say. So now I’m the actress. As for the actor, yeah, I bet you can tell where this is going. 😉 Anyways, so here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to rush to my car (to the parking garage) and on my way up the stairs, I drop my car keys. When I get to my car, I realize I’ve lost my keys and I begin to panic. My friend, “Tom,” is going to be the actor. He’s going to find my keys and pick them up. He eventually finds me in the parking garage and gives my keys back to me and it’s going to be “love at first sight.” He sort of volunteered to play the lead actor 1) probably so he can play my love interest and 2) we have these matching keychains (I bought them when I went to Disneyland one time and gave him the other half for his birthday present last year). This will help the whole “fate” factor.

All I have to say is that this should be interesting. We’re going to play love interests in this 60-second movie, which will eventually be shown to the rest of the class. I am actually kind of excited, but definitely nervous. I don’t want to watch myself on screen in front of everyone, but I want to see if we have any on-screen chemistry. Okay, now I’m starting to get cheesy. I can’t wait to see how this turns out. We’re filming on Wednesday. Here goes nothing…

-beautifuldarkmystery

picking a college major.

So for this post, I’m interested in breaking down the process of choosing a major in college. As someone who’s been struggling with finding the right field, I hope this will help those of you just entering college who still don’t know what you want to do.

To be honest, I should have been more proactive in high school. I didn’t know where I wanted to go to school or what I wanted to major in…until it was time to begin the application process and I was forced to start choosing places. The universities I chose to apply to, I may have well just picked them out of a hat because I had no clue! I ended up applying to three local universities that were close to home and I got into my “top choice.” I had declared English as my major simply because I loved writing and considered myself a fairly experienced writer since I did well in my English classes and was a staff writer/reporter for my school newspaper.

After my first semester of college, I decided to change my major to film. In high school, I loved putting together music videos with my friends and I loved working with cameras and editing. I took my first Film/TV Production class the following fall term and I’ll admit, it was overwhelming at first. But by the end of the class, I had made new friends who were also in that major and I had learned how the different positions of a TV studio work.

After that semester, things got a little dry, and by that I mean, I took the film history classes and the electronic media classes that are more lecture than hands-on. I was beginning to question if I was in the “right” major or not. I began to lose motivation and confidence, but one of my friends told me to stick it out because the film industry is very broad and there are many different options you can go into with that degree.

At the beginning of this school year (now a third-year student), I saw an educational counselor to get an opinion on what I should I do. She basically said that if I wanted to change majors, I needed to do it now because after you pass a certain number of units, you are locked in that major and can’t switch. They want students to get in and get out. That didn’t help, so I ended up staying with my major.

On top of that, I declared a minor. A minor is not required for my major but A) It looks better to have those two degrees and B) It’ll be a good thing to fall back on if film doesn’t work out for me…or I can marry the two and form my own independent company. Who knows?

To this very day, I am still unsure about whether film is the right field for me. But now I am starting to get into field-specific classes like film management, the business of film, audio production, etc. I hope to take a screenwriting class next semester. Hopefully I’ll begin to figure out what it is I want to do.

Now that I am a little older and a little more mature, I am beginning to be a lot more proactive than I was in high school. I’ve even calculated what it’ll take to get me out of school on time (Not that I don’t want to leave just yet because I actually like college). At my university, they make it practically impossible to graduate within 4 years because students can’t get their classes and there are budget cuts left and right. The likelihood of my graduating by next spring is still pretty slim because that’s only IF I can take summer school and get ALL the classes I need for the next two terms. It’s a huge “What If” game.

So if you’re out there and you feel completely lost, whether you’re in high school or college, don’t stress. You WILL find what works best for you. Sometimes you just need to give it time. Don’t rush into things so quickly like I did. Slow down, breathe, and see what your strengths are. What are you PASSIONATE about? What can you see yourself doing for the rest of your life? I know what it feels like to “fall behind” the rest of the pack. It’s hard to watch your friends move ahead of you, who have everything planned out. Just remember to run your own race. I have to keep telling myself that because I have a bad habit of comparing myself to others, especially when it seems like they have it so much easier than me. But I know, everyone has their own battle they’re fighting. So stay in faith, don’t lose hope, and be PROACTIVE.

-beautifuldarkmystery