oh my gosh, you guys.

So yesterday was one of the craziest days of my semester so far. I went to school, even though I didn’t have classes because of my friends, we’ll call him “Sean,” needed my help editing a video. So we worked on that and then went to have lunch. “Tom” joined us and it was weird because he was really quiet, like quieter than usual and every time I tried talking to him, he didn’t seem to want to talk to me.

Anyways, Tom had to leave for class and so it was just me and Sean. We were sitting outside having really deep conversations. I’ve opened up to him so much since we met. He’s just one of those people I automatically felt comfortable enough to let my guard down and tell him about my life. He’s a really sensitive and understanding person and we’re a lot alike in many ways, including our perceptions of relationships and life in general. So we were having a good conversation until his phone rang. It was his girlfriend, but I didn’t know that until he hung up. He finished the call and then looks at me. When he gets nervous, he starts smiling a lot so I knew something was wrong. I asked him what’s up and he basically said his girlfriend is super jealous that he and I have been hanging out a lot lately, just the two of us. I didn’t like where this was going. I am NOT the type of girl who would do that to another girl. If someone is in a relationship, that’s an automatic no for me. I honestly thought we were just friends hanging out, but apparently, he thought differently.

Their relationship is complicated. They’ve been dating for a long time now and both have issues that they’re trying to work out. Before we started working on our film, he was considering ending the relationship because he wasn’t happy anymore. Last week, he and I hung out, just the two of us. This is where it gets messy. So apparently he told her he was going to hang out with some of his guy friends, but really, he went to hang out with me. I uploaded the pictures to Facebook and she saw him and confronted him about it. They got into a huge argument and it completely blew up. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I couldn’t believe he lied to her like that and now I was in the middle of it. Now I’ve got this girl who hates my guts and she doesn’t even know me. My intentions were never to take him away from her. I would NEVER do that to ANYONE! I wanted to cry.

Eventually, the conversation reached a peak when she asked him if he liked me. He said yes. My jaw dropped as he was explaining all of this to me. Now, I’m sort of in a sticky situation. I’ve got this guy who likes me, but he’s in a relationship. He’s considering leaving her for me. There are a couple things wrong with that. A) I don’t want to be another reason for ending their relationship and B) I don’t want to be the rebound. C) I am interested in someone else. I don’t see him the same way he sees me.

But wait, it gets better. He told me that she wants to meet me and of course, I’m open to it. I don’t want to get off on the wrong foot and I don’t her to think of me like that. But before I could get in another word, she shows up right in front of us. Now I’m in an even more awkward situation because now it’s the three of us, sitting there. Right off the bat, she was acting super nice because I don’t know if she knows that I know about what Mark told me about their relationship. Anyways, so I could tell she wasn’t being completely sincere because I KNOW that she hates my guts right now. But I tried to be as genuine as possible. I couldn’t ignore the fact that I felt super uncomfortable. She made it known they were in a relationship, smiling at him, calling him pet names, and touching him every once in a while. I knew what she was doing, but I very well know he’s in a relationship and like I’ve said, I WOULD NEVER DO THAT! Nothing happened between us. If a friend wants to hang out, I’m going to hang out with him/her.

I get home later that night and end up talking to Tom on the phone about what had went down. He wanted to make sure I was okay. But yeah, my life just took a turn and I’m still trying to process everything…especially after the phone call I got this morning from Sean.

He basically said he can’t stop thinking about me and that he’s thought about getting me flowers and even meeting my parents. Talk about feeling overwhelmed! Is there an emotion that’s a level further than that…because that’s how I felt. To make things even better, he said he really is considering breaking up with her to go out with me. He said that when he’s around me he feels happy and he hasn’t felt that happy in a long time. The more I heard this, the more I wanted to cringe. He is a nice person and I was trying to let him down easy, but I don’t think he was getting the hint. I hate rejecting people, but I can’t help who I have feelings for. I guess in a sense, he knows what I’m going through. He likes someone who doesn’t like him back in that way…just like I like this guy who doesn’t see me as more than a friend. It sucks. And I feel even worse about this whole thing because the whole time we’ve been getting to know each other has consisted of me expressing my feelings about Tom to him and basically venting about how I am basically in love with this guy who doesn’t see me that way. I don’t know what I’m going to do. He said he’s going to call me back later tonight, but I just feel bad that all of this happened. I never intended for any of it to go down like this and I wish I could hit the rewind button. I think I feel extremely overwhelmed because I’ve never been in a situation like this. It may seem trivial to you guys, but to me, my mind’s all over the place.

-beautifuldarkmystery

Have any of you been in a situation like this? What did you do? Any advice???

Advertisements