better this way.

You know, I’ve always heard the saying that some people are meant to fall for each other, but not meant to be together. To be honest, that never made sense to me and I never understood how that was possible. However, now I believe in that. It practically sums up my non-existant relationship with this guy for the last year and a half.

Without a doubt, we were drawn to each other. It was attraction at first sight. Our hesitance got the best of us both. For fear of crossing that line, we were always afraid to make a move and in the end, that’s what destroyed our chances. I mean, perhaps our friendship was too valuable for him to risk it. I know feelings are only temporary and that eventually, they change, but if he claimed to have feelings for me for over a year, I would have thought we might actually have a chance here because it’s very rare I like the person who likes me back .

It was frustrating to know we couldn’t develop anything more than a friendship. I mean, unless we both have very different ideas of what it means to have feelings for someone. I can only validate my own. There are times I just want to blurt out everything I’ve kept bottled from him…every feeling and emotion…but then I think that I’d just be wasting my time. Showing him I’m vulnerable only hurts me in the end. My own hesitance is very self-destructive. When will I change my ways?

– beautifuldarkmystery

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important qualities in a relationship.

I know I’m not one to really speak on this, considering I haven’t been in many relationships. This is just my personal opinion and these qualities can vary from person to person. Here are qualities I value in a relationship. I call them the Three C’s.

1. Commitment. I know it’s a scary word, but we’re not looking to get married here. I mean, yeah, one day I hope to marry someone, but for the time being, commitment means that if a guy asks me to be his girlfriend, he’s going to stay loyal to me. One-night stands are not my thing. Part of committing yourself to someone means that you’re going to be honest with the other person. No one likes a liar and in my opinion, if you’re truly unhappy with the relationship, then get out. Don’t cheat. It’s not worth it in the end. Or at least, that’s how I see it. In my next relationship, I want to know that he truly wants me and a huge deciding factor in that is his willing to commit to one girl.

2. Communication. It’s something I’m working on and a relationship can work only if the two people can communicate. The problem I’m having is that I tend to like guys who can’t seem to verbally communicate their feelings and I mean really have a problem doing that. Both my ex and the guy I currently like can express themselves better through a screen, whether it’s AIM, e-mail, Facebook, or text message. My current crush has definitely told me that he’s way more comfortable talking about more personal topics/issues through text and I’ve told him that I’m trying to work on being able to express myself using my words because I can’t hide behind a screen forever. But I’ve realized that for now…I’m going to have to deal with it because if it’s his way of communicating, I’d rather have that than no line of communication at all. Perhaps as we become more comfortable around each other, he’ll slowly begin to open up to us when we hang out or spend time together. But communication is VERY important.

3. Chemistry. I know that sounds sort of stupid because it’s kind of obvious that there needs to be an attraction from both ends in order for the relationship to work. But here’s what I mean. In order for a relationship to work, both people need to feel wanted. Just because you can call someone your boyfriend or girlfriend, doesn’t mean you should stop doing whatever it took to get that person. I think they call it “the chase” in relationship terms. When you really like someone…that person is pretty much the only one you think about…the last person before you go to sleep and the first person you think about when you wake up. During “the chase” you do anything to impress your crush and anything else that will get you noticed. Don’t allow that to stop just because you guys are going out. That initial attraction needs to be there…it fuels the fire of the relationship.

Those are the most important ones in my opinion. If I think of more, I’ll add to this post later. Oh, and there’s one more thing to remember…be happy. If you’re unhappy in a relationship then something is very wrong because the whole point of this thing is being excited about sharing your life with another person…connecting with him/her on a more intimate level. I don’t know if my crush and I will pursue a relationship, but if we do, I’m going to remember these things and learn from my mistakes with my last one.

-beautifuldarkmystery

What qualities do you look for in your relationships? Which are most important to you?