i hate change.

I don’t know about you guys, but I hate change. I am trying to be more accepting and open to it, but it doesn’t mean I like it. I was just watching some old videos of me and my friends back when we were in high school, and I can’t help but notice how much times have changed. I’m talking about two people in particular. They’re brother and sister, and they were my best friends in high school. They were there for me when I really needed friends. Without them, high school would have been miserable. They’ve seen me laugh, cry, and everything in between.

Now we’re all in college and we’re going our separate ways…and naturally, we drifted apart. It happens. They’re both in relationships now, they have their own group of friends. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about them or wonder how they’re doing. I’ve recently hung out with them both (on separate occasions) and I could tell that a lot has changed. I don’t know if they think I’m judging them by the choices they’re making (because I don’t believe in some of them, but haven’t been vocal about it…however, they know where I stand with certain issues)…or if it’s because so much time has passed and we don’t see or talk to each other every day like we did back then.

I just miss them sometimes. I’ve always been one of those people jealous of those who can say they’ve been friends with this person since they were in kindergarden or whatever. I wish I could have someone in my life like that. However, I guess having my sister as my best friend kind of compensates for that because she literally is my other half. We can tell each other anything and everything and I KNOW she’s not going anywhere.

I can’t really say I’ve made close friends in college yet, despite how many people I’ve met. I still haven’t met someone I can completely feel comfortable and be myself around. And I hope one day, I’ll meet that person. I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s nice that I have my sister to talk to, but sometimes I wish I had someone else other than family that I could talk to…someone who could give me a fresh perspective on things.

I know part of that comes with me learning how to put myself out there. I need to become better at socializing because meeting people is half of it. And as difficult as it is for me, it’s something I need to know how to do and be able to do. It just comes a little easier to others, and for some, we have to work at it a little harder…and that’s okay.

Even though my friends and I have drifted apart, it doesn’t mean I despise them or hate them for not being friends with me anymore. I know that whenever I’m having a terrible day, I can look back on a memory we’ve shared together and then I smile. Sometimes God places people in our lives when we need them the most. Sometimes they’re only a part of one chapter in your life. Sorry to get all religious on you guys, I won’t go any further than that. But it’s my philosophy. I believe He puts people in my path when it’s appropriate. That’s why I feel “Tom” came into my life when he did. That’s why those two came into my life when they did. They were the ones who, bless their hearts, listened to me complain about my ex over and over again and still comforted me and gave me advice and guidance when I needed it.

Growing up is hard, and moving on is even harder, but it’s necessary. Nothing lasts forever and all good things must come to an end. Deep down inside, I am truly happy to see they’re doing well. I wish them nothing but happiness. But I hope, like me, they will never forget all of the wonderful times we’ve spent together, all the times we were there to lift each other’s spirits. I hope they will never forget any of that.

I hate change, but it’s something I’ll just have to get used to.

-beautifuldarkmystery

Do you like change? Why or why not?

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