You know, I’ve always heard the saying that some people are meant to fall for each other, but not meant to be together. To be honest, that never made sense to me and I never understood how that was possible. However, now I believe in that. It practically sums up my non-existant relationship with this guy for the last year and a half.
Without a doubt, we were drawn to each other. It was attraction at first sight. Our hesitance got the best of us both. For fear of crossing that line, we were always afraid to make a move and in the end, that’s what destroyed our chances. I mean, perhaps our friendship was too valuable for him to risk it. I know feelings are only temporary and that eventually, they change, but if he claimed to have feelings for me for over a year, I would have thought we might actually have a chance here because it’s very rare I like the person who likes me back .
It was frustrating to know we couldn’t develop anything more than a friendship. I mean, unless we both have very different ideas of what it means to have feelings for someone. I can only validate my own. There are times I just want to blurt out everything I’ve kept bottled from him…every feeling and emotion…but then I think that I’d just be wasting my time. Showing him I’m vulnerable only hurts me in the end. My own hesitance is very self-destructive. When will I change my ways?