i don’t want break to end.

It’s been so nice having a week away from him…not seeing him, not having to deal with the tension between us. I’m not looking forward to that one class we have together for the rest of the semester. No matter how hard I try to avoid it, there’s always going to be that tension there, it’s just inevitable. But, I’m not going to focus on that…or at least try.

There’s only a month and a half left of this semester and then it’s 3 months of summer vacation. There are days I still wish things didn’t turn out this way, but that’s life…there are a lot of those moments. Unfortunately, things don’t always work out according to plan. I would have liked to have ended things on a good note, but that’s not something I can control.

I do hope he’s had a good spring break. He’s probably over this whole thing by now…and here I am, sitting here as each day goes by…my mind always wanders to him…forever in the back of my mind. I know that with time it’ll get easier because it already has! That feeling of shock and being in denial has gone away, now the reality is finally sinking in.

One thing’s for sure…I’m REALLY glad I got to spend some time with two of my high school friends during spring break. Seeing them reminded me that I’ve still got some pretty amazing people in my life…people who’ve continually been there for me and shown me the love and support. We didn’t even have to talk about deep stuff…we just hung out and had a great time. I really miss them. I’ve realized that I’ve pretty much lost most of my friendships from high school and it’s kind of sad. But the ones I still keep in touch with, I know those friendships are real because we don’t have to see or talk to each other every day, but when we hang out, we’re able to pick up right from where we left off and it’s fantastic.

I wonder if he’s been texting this new girl…probably…and it’s sad to think she’s falling for the same words I fell for as we speak. Well, I can say this much…it won’t be long until she begins to see this pattern and then it’s on to the next. I hate to say it, but it’s true. He clearly doesn’t see that there’s something wrong with his behavior, therefore, he’s not going to do anything to change it. He needs to seriously grow up. As much as he wants to be a kid, he’s not one anymore. He’s an adult. It’s time to start taking certain things more seriously. I’m not saying everything has to be serious, but you’ve got to draw a line somewhere.

-beautifuldarkmystery

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