frustration & pain.

Yes, it still hurts…I know I shouldn’t have feelings for someone who makes me feel like I always need to prove myself. Right now, pretty much everything he’s said to me is bull…I don’t even know what we were doing. If he got cold feet about being in a relationship with me I wish he would have just been honest with me.

I haven’t eaten for two days, including today, and I barely got any sleep last night. I wish I wouldn’t let things affect me so much, but I can’t help it. I still like him a lot, but how do I tell myself it’s time to move on? This is so conflicting I can’t even deal with this right now.

I think a huge reason why I’m feeling like this is because he really was the first guy I was able to develop feelings for since my last relationship. So it’s just not a great situation overall…


4 thoughts on “frustration & pain.

  1. Michelle says:

    The best way to deal with thinking about it too much is to grab some close friends and get out of the house as much as you can… take a day to completely wallow in self pity and watch sappy sad movies, vent for as long as you want. When that day is over then tell yourself you are done! Get out and hang with people who make you feel good and eat whatever you want to. I know this sounds like it won’t work, but I just went through an awful breakup and this honestly helped me. It takes time to move on, but don’t hold yourself back! Get a hair cut, go for a massage or pedicure. Treat yourself! Good luck, I hope this helps.

    – Michelle

    • beautifuldarkmystery says:

      Thanks girl. I really needed that. I’m so glad I’ve got people here to give me some great advice. That’s why I started this blog in the first place. I know I’m not alone and other people have dealt with these kinds of issues. Sometimes it helps to get different perspectives on things.

      I’m actually going out with a couple of friends I’ve known since high school today so that will definitely get my mind off of it. As far as venting goes, I’m going to wait until my mom gets home. She’s out of town at the moment, but she always listens and gives me good advice.

      But you’re absolutely right. I need to have a “me” day and just let all of my anger and frustration out. I need to take care of myself right now. I’m just worried because when something like this happens, I manifest my emotions to the extreme. For example, like I said, I haven’t been eating for the last two days and I’ve barely gotten any sleep. The worst part is that we were NEVER IN A RELATIONSHIP, yet it still felt like a breakup. It might sound strange, but we’ve both had feelings for each other for a year and a half and during Thanksgiving of last year, he finally confessed that he liked me and I told him I liked him too. We didn’t even try to get into a relationship because “he was afraid of ruining the friendship” and now he’s moved onto someone else as if none of this existed. I don’t know, there’s just something here that doesn’t feel right and I’m not sure how I feel about it. AND, we have a class together so I’ll see him first thing on Monday and it’s going to be so hard. This sucks. This really sucks. 😦 But I’m going to take your advice and I’m going to try it. Thanks a bunch!


  2. wrigramming says:

    it’s normal. just hang on there and when it starts to fade you will be fine. it took me almost 2years to be right back in track.
    coz i believed 1life 1love 1birth 1death
    hope it does not take that long. best of luck.

    • beautifuldarkmystery says:

      Yup, I know how the cycle goes. It just worries me about how long this will take because it nearly took me a good 3-4 years to get over my last relationship and I wouldn’t have even called it one. Here’s another non-existant relationship and I fear it could take me years to get over. Everyone keeps telling me time will heal everything and I realize that, but sometimes I wish I wouldn’t make myself suffer for so long. I wish I could be one of those people who gets over things easier. But I know I will be okay. Thanks.


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