So the film was a success. I was happy to get to spend time with him, let alone play supposed “love interests”. Gosh, this is just so hard. I want to be able to tell him how I feel, but there’s something holding me back. I can’t pretend like there’s nothing wrong…maybe I just need to talk to him. Today when we were filming, we did this take where we had to look in each other’s eyes. And I felt it…that connection, that desire to be with him. I don’t know what to do. Lately, whenever we see each other or say goodbye to each other, we embrace in these long hugs, especially lately. They’re perfect. He’s taller than me so when we hug, I turn my head to the side and rest against his chest and honestly, I love that feeling. I never want to let go. I feel secure in his arms. His hugs are the best.
I know we agreed to be friends for now, but that’s only making things more difficult. It’s apparent that we both want the relationship (or at least that’s what I’m getting from him), but neither of us is doing anything about it. I really wish I could tap into his mind and read his thoughts…see what he really thinks about me. But I know, that’s also a little creepy.
I really want to hang out with him outside of school…just the two of us. It can be casual. But I just want to see what happens. I just don’t know when to ask him because I know he works for most of the week. But then again, if he feels the way he claims to feel, then he would hang out with me right? I don’t know…all I want is just one day with him…is that so much to ask for?