As most of you know from my other post, I pretty much had no idea where I wanted to go to college. I ended up picking one that was commutable from my house. However, my parents said it was okay that I live on campus. I decided that since this was part of the “college experience,” it was worth a shot.
Like most freshmen, I was extremely nervous. At the beginning of summer I got my room assignment and my roommate, we’ll call her Trisha. Trisha sent me a Facebook request and we began messaging each other to decide who was going to bring what to the room (refrigerator, television, microwave, etc). It seemed okay so far.
Before I knew it, move-in day was here. I was anxious more than ever. My whole family helped me moved in and once I was all settled, they left and that was it…I was on my own. Now, Trisha already had a year on me. She was a sophomore at the time and on top of that, she was from around the area, so most of her friends were people she went to high school with. It was totally awkward at first because I’m more of an introvert and I don’t like initiating conversations, but I tried to put myself out there, as hard as it was. At one point, I made an effort to ask her if she wanted to go to the eating commons so that we could get to know each other. We did, but were interrupted when one of her friends came and then they started talking.
I don’t know if it was that I had a gut feeling, but something was telling me that this wasn’t going to work out. If I were in her position and I was the older one and had a freshman as a roommate, I would help that person. But maybe that’s just me. She would often leave the room to go hang out with her friends or she would bring them back to the room. It started to become an inconvenience, but I didn’t say anything. Looking back on it, I should have talked to her about it, but you live and you learn right?
A week into the school year, I began to harbor all this anger, frustration, and irritation. I began to publicly blog about my roommate and I was stupid enough to link the url to my blog on my facebook page. So one night, she and her friends decided to “snoop” around on my page t “try and get to know me.” They found my blog and started reading all of the things I was saying about her. They weren’t too terrible, but some of it was hurtful, I’m not going to lie. It was a very stupid thing of me to do and I still regret it to this day. I usually went home on the weekends because I couldn’t stand living there. When I got back the following week, we had a talk and she was clearly upset and had every right to be. I couldn’t believe this was happening and I apologized to her. I think pretty much from that point on, I ruined any chances of becoming friends with her. We were pretty distant for the rest of the semester.
There was a point when I started to think that things were getting better. She began to talk to me more and we were actually getting along. Before we knew it, it was time for winter break. I packed all my clothes and all the things I would need. It was a much needed break. I never thought that my college experience would get off to a rocky start. I know it was my fault though. Over the winter break, I went through a difficult time. My mind went to a dark place and it wasn’t just because of the whole roommate situation. There were other factors playing into the picture.
When it was time for me to return to school, my mom suggested that I only pack a weekend back instead of moving all my stuff back in at once. When I got to the dorms however, I felt like I could move in the rest of my stuff so my mom helped me move back in. After she left, I was in my room hanging up my clothes. Trisha was sitting on her bed with two of her friends. After a whole ton of awkward silence, Trisha basically told me to move out. She asked if I could switch rooms with one of her friends (who was living in a single). I tried so hard not to cry and barely fighting back tears, I told them I would think about it and I left the room to call my mom. I completely broke down and told her I don’t want to live here anymore…that I wanted to come home.
Now, you would have thought that I would have went to the single room…I wouldn’t have to deal with a roommate and I could still be on campus. But that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I just wanted to come home. This was all too much and too overwhelming at the time. I had never had something like this happen to me before. So for the rest of the year, I commuted from home and to this day I still commute. Not so surprisingly, my grades went up after I moved out and I’ve been doing much better. I don’t mind that I’m one of those kids living with my parents. I know eventually I’ll be living on my own, but for now, I am content with living with my parents. Plus it saves money because tuition is already expensive enough as it is.
I guess if you can take anything away from this, don’t hold your emotions in. If someone is bothering you, tell him/her. I know it sounds obvious, but when you’re like me, you find that it’s much easier to hold it in and just act like everything’s okay. But look at what happened. It made the whole situation worse. Another thing is, there’s nothing wrong with living with your parents for a few more years. For the longest time, I saw it as something bad because all my friends were living on their own and I was still living with my parents, but I’m not ashamed of it. Most of my good friends I’ve made in college all commute and still live with their parents. Things happen for a reason. But don’t think that just because you don’t live on campus that you’re some sort of freak. It’s normal. A lot of kids commute, it’s not a big deal. Sure, it’d probably be easier to meet more people if you lived on campus, but dorming isn’t for everyone.
If you go to college, did you or do you live on campus? If so, what was your experience like?