materialism in relationships.

A relationship shouldn’t be based on materialistic object, but I’m not going to lie. I like a little materialism in relationships, but only a little. I don’t want to have expectations when it comes to this sort of thing in relationships.

I’m not all about gifts in a relationship. I believe there are other ways to show someone you love him/her or are thinking of him/her without buying something. But I don’t want to have to expect something on my birthday or for Christmas from my boyfriend. The thought would be nice, but I don’t want him to feel like he has to, just because I’m his girlfriend. Honestly, as long as I get to be with him on those days, that’s all that really matters. I think the best gift you could give on those special days/occasions is yourself…give your boyfriend/girlfriend all your attention. Be there in the moment, show that you wouldn’t rather be anywhere else. That will make anyone feel special.

I think it’s really sweet when a guy spontaneously give you flowers…and that’s the thing…spontaneously. It doesn’t have to be a special occasion. He’s doing it simply to show you that he’s thinking of you. Every time I see any guy with a bouquet of flowers, I melt on the inside. I think about the girl who’s going to receive them and I just think of how lucky she is. I’ve never had a guy gie me flowers (with the exception of my high school prom when my date asked me). But I just think it’s so cute, AND yet so simple.

I also love the idea of a guy giving a girl a promise ring to show that he’s committed and wants to be with her. But obviously you wouldn’t do something like this unless you two were in a serious and committed relationship. Otherwise, it could come off as a bit much. Personally, if that were me and I was in a committed relationship with a guy and he wanted to give me a promise ring, I think that’s one of the sweetest and most romantic things he could ever do. But I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Remember, no expectations with materialism.

A relationship should not be based on “buying” love, or at least that’s how I see it. Gifts can be seen as an easy way out, almost. Guys know that girls love this kind of stuff (I don’t know about the other way around), and it’s easy for a guy to do these things simply because he knows she’ll like it. You’ve got to be thoughtful about it or don’t do it at all. And don’t overdo it. Some of these things seem so old-fashioned, but some os us girls really love that kind of stuff. Even handwritten letters are cute, though very old school, but I’ll go into that in another post.

So I guess the point is, materialism is not a bad thing, but should be in moderation. We shouldn’t have to buy each other’s love with expensive jewelry or designer handbags. Let’s not forget about what it really means to connect with someone…through their heart, NOT their wallet.


How do you feel about materialism in relationships? Thoughts? Opinions?

2 thoughts on “materialism in relationships.

  1. Ying Feels Yang says:

    you have gone with idealist view in this post. so i would like to accede with it. just want to add something to it. i see most of the girls go after boys who have money. who can buy them stuffs. i am going to point of reality. i feel most of the girls use boys for their reason. i may be into this belief for my experience. but i see that in many peoples’ life. i have question for you. do you think most of girl do love excessive materialism? if not, what they really want from boys?

    • beautifuldarkmystery says:

      Well, to answer your question, personally, I do think there are a lot of girls out there who obsess over materialism and go after the guys with the money. But at the same time, I do think some guys could use that to their advantage just to keep a girl around. If he knows she likes that kind of stuff, he could just keep buying her things to keep her happy, which isn’t good or healthy for the relationship. So it can go both ways…the girls aren’t always the bad ones.

      For me, it’s like…if a guy buys me flowers, I’m not going to get upset about it and say no don’t do that. But at the same time, I don’t expect him to go out of the way to buy me things. It’s more about the fact that he thought about me and wanted to do something small for me to show that. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I really don’t like it when people spend a lot of money on me for some reason. I don’t know. So in my case, materialism wouldn’t be a problem.


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