late night, clouded thoughts.

I don’t know about you guys, but when it gets late like this, I do a lot of thinking. This is going to be another post about the guy I currently like. (You are probably going to get sick of hearing about this because I’ll probably write about it a lot). Anyways, I guess I’m sort of anxious about this week because the spring semester starts and my first class is with him. I haven’t seen him all break and I’m really nervous…you know, that kind of nervous when you haven’t seen someone in a while and all you want to do is just physically see him/her. Yup, that’s how I feel.

It’s times like this…when I’m sitting in my room in silence all alone…when I just want him next to me so I can explain everything that’s on my mind. Why do I find it so difficult to do that? There’s so much I feel like I want to say to him and I want to be honest, but I don’t want to scare him away. I really am afraid that I’m starting to fall for him but I fear that he doesn’t like me as much as I like him. If he does, he has a weird way of showing it because I haven’t talked to him in a couple of weeks, so I took initiative and just sent him a very casual text saying asking him how he’s doing.

Honestly, I don’t know what’s going to happen this semester. I’m getting this weird feeling where I like him, but at the same time I feel myself slowly starting to pull away…almost losing interest. I don’t even know how to explain it because it’s so weird. Maybe it’s just me being irrational at the moment. Scratch that…I AM being irrational at the moment.

I think I just need to be up front with him like a couple of people have told me. I just want to be completely sure of my feelings before I say or do anything because I know that if I have to question myself, then something’s not right. Maybe I just need to see him again. I don’t really know.

Late nights = lots of thinking = uncertainty of what I really want. Maybe I should try and sleep instead.

-beautifuldarkmystery

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