living straight-edge.

It’s a lifestyle. It’s a choice. It doesn’t mean I’m better than anyone else. This is the way I want to live my life. I’m not going to judge the people who don’t choose this lifestyle so they shouldn’t judge me for the one I choose.

What is the definition of straight-edge? In general, someone who’s straight-edge chooses not to engage in smoking, drugs, alcohol, and promiscuous activities. For some, straight-edge can be a little more extreme such as following a vegetarian or vegan diet or refraining from consuming caffeine or prescription drugs. For me it’s the former, so that’s what I’m referring to when I say “straight-edge” throughout the rest of this post.

For one thing, I care a lot about other people’s opinions of me. I realize that this is my life and I shouldn’t care about what they think of me, but for my whole life, I’ve been seen as the good girl…the one who follows the rules, never gets into trouble, and stays classy. I’d like to uphold that image not only for them but for me as well. Part of upholding this image also comes from the fact that I never want to dishonor or disappoint my parents. I want to prove to them that they’ve raised a good daughter who can make decisions for herself. I guess another part of it comes from being somewhat religious and I want to respect that. It’s just the way I choose to represent myself, not saying that it’s better than everyone else.

I think out of all my close friends I can think of, I’m the only one who’s never drank, smoked, or done drugs. Over the years, I think that this is part of the reason why most of those friendships ended. They all know I don’t do those things, so why would they ask me to hang out if that’s what they’re going to do?  Yeah, it sucks, but again…we all live our own lives and we all have to make these decisions for ourselves.

At times, it’s sucked being the only one in my group of friends who doesn’t engage in those activities. Yes, I HAVE felt isolated and felt that it would be much easier if I just conformed to their lifestyle. But every time I’ve felt that way, I stop myself and think that I shouldn’t conform to a certain lifestyle just to fit in. I want to stay honest with myself.

So for those of you who are like me, unfortunately, sometimes it will suck. People will call you boring or think you’re better than everyone else because you’re “pure,” but just remember that you get to choose the lifestyle you want, but don’t change it just to fit in with your friends. If you’re lucky enough to find a good group of people with the same lifestyle as you then hey, that’s awesome. It is what it is and I can’t be in control of everything. Life goes on.


Are you straight-edge? If so, how has this affected your friendships (if at all)?

5 thoughts on “living straight-edge.

  1. Ying Feels Yang says:

    you explained everything i was going to say. what else i could say. my answer to your question is your blog itself.
    love your writings. keep it up.

    ying feels yang.

  2. Ying Feels Yang says:

    i think after reading all your post within a hour and coming back to this page gives me authority to say something:-
    you need to keep up writing. lately i was having thoughts like i need to delete my blog because i am computer science student and i need to have all those tech-geeky blog but i am having blog related to feelings and i don’t know why. i still am in dilemma with deleting it or not. after reading your blog i think i need to keep it. although i don’t know what i am going to write about!

    • beautifuldarkmystery says:

      Well thank you! I really appreciate your kind words and thoughts on some of my posts. I definitely want to use this tool as a self-exercise…not only to help myself, but help others. I definitely think you should keep your blog and you don’t have to write on it every day, but when you have a profound thought or something you want to get off your chest, write about it. I don’t know about you, but writing down my feelings has always been an effective tool for me. Even if you don’t want to post it publicly, keep a journal or a Word document on your computer and write there. Just keep writing. Best of luck.


  3. […] reading a wonderful blog beautiful-dark-mystery, I felt I need to write on […]

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