So pretty much as of right now, “Tom” and I are just friends. It’s so hard though because I really like him and I’m pretty sure he likes me too, but if we’re not ready, I’m not going to push it. I’m just worried he’s going to find another girl and then I’ll feel like I ruined my chance with him.
It’s kind of weird though because when we text each other, it doesn’t sound like we’re just friends. It’s obvious there are feelings there, it’s just different than before because now we know for sure that we like each other. I am really anxious to see how this semester will go. We have one class together and I’ll take it…it’s better than nothing. Maybe by seeing each other on a more weekly basis, things won’t feel so awkward.
Another thing I need to keep telling myself…fall for words, NOT actions. He texts me sweet things all the time…saying I’m beautiful, and that he loves me. No, I can’t fall for that, and I’ve made it very clear to him that if he cares about me, to show me. He keeps telling me that he never knows what to say or do around me because all he wants to do is impress me. But I told him, all he has to do is be himself and show me how he feels. In my eyes, actions always speak louder than words.
I’ve gone this whole break without seeing him and to be honest, I can’t remember the last time I missed someone so much. He made a point of telling me that he was going to invite me over to watch movies with him, but it never happened because he got sick. Truthfully, I’m not sure if he would have actually gone through with it. Right now it just seems all talk, no action. But I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. I shouldn’t be so hard on him.
Honestly, the last time I had strong feelings for someone was when I was dating my ex-boyfriend. Tom is the first guy I’ve been able to like since then, so there’s kind of a lot riding on this. But I know I’m still young, and I have my whole life to experience this part of my life I’m unfamiliar with. Most importantly, if things are meant to be, then it will happen. Knowing the way things have worked out in my life, something’s telling me that it’s not going to happen.
I’ll try to stay positive, and I think there’s a lot more work that has to be done before Tom and I get to that stage…where we truly feel comfortable around each other. It’s so weird…liking someone so much that you FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE. It should be the other way around, but I get so wrapped up in my own head sometimes. I feel like I have to impress him as well, but I just need to relax. He’s just another guy. He’s my friend.
Have you ever been in a situation like this before? How did it work out?