college crush (part 4).

After our feelings were out in the open, Tom and I felt that tension go away. I mean, we both liked each other all this time, but no one ever acted upon it. We continued texting for the next week or so and this was the longest we had ever consecutively “talked” to each other. It was nice.

One day he wanted to hang out so he ended up coming to school early one day just so he could see me. I stayed late so I could see him. We ended up sitting in the student union talking about random things for almost FOUR hours! It didn’t even feel like it, but I guess that’s what happens when you feel like this. There were some awkward moments though, where we both would run out of things to say and we’re left staring at the ceiling. I figured, oh no, this is what it’s going to be like? Tom is the type of person who feels comfortable talking through text, especially when it’s about more below-the-surface subjects. When I talk to him in person, it’s different than the person I talk to through text. I want to talk to the text guy, but I want him to be able to talk to me. But maybe this is a “flaw” of his that I just might have to accept.

It was getting late and I had to go home and he had to go to class so he offers to walk me to my car. I told him he really didn’t have to and that I would be okay, but he insisted. As we walked we were laughing and talking. Then all of a sudden I feel a hand take mind. I thought it was THE cutest thing ever. I couldn’t help but compare him to my ex at that moment. I know, I know…I really shouldn’t do that, but it took that guy forever just to hold my hand and Tom was not hesitant at all, or at least it didn’t show. When we got to the parking garage I gave him the biggest hug and we went our separate ways.

A couple of days later we were trying to plan our first date but I had some schedule conflicts and in the end, it never happened and I was bummed. I texted Tom one day, asking what he thought about us so far. He said he honestly thinks we’re not ready for a relationship like this and that we don’t feel comfortable enough around each other yet. I agreed with him, but at the same time I was crushed because I felt like it was my fault. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do and relationships are so unfamiliar to me that I guess I just put a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself for no reason. So, before anything could really start, we decided we would just stay friends…for now at least.



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